Life After the Dress...Nadia van der Mescht

I am so happy to introduce you all to my fourth guest here in my Life After the Dress series on the blog.

Nadia is a Creative Consultant, and I first met her at one of the I Heart Markets in Durban where she was selling her custom made button & ribbon brooches, corsages and boutonnieres. I took some photographs of her wonderful market display for a blog post, and then via our blogs and Facebook we became friends. Nadia is just such a lovely person, with such a warm heart. She has been doing so well on the creative scene in Durban, and is such an inspiration for other bloggers and creative people who are thinking about starting their own businesses in South Africa. We also commissioned her to make Farmboy and his groomsmen's boutonnieres for our wedding (she even included a beautiful brooch that matched for my hair), so thoughtful.

This talented lady is going places, so make sure to pop on over to her blog to see more of what she is all about.

Q1: Please introduce yourself (age, of both yourself and your husband, where do you live, what do you do & how long have you been married for?)

Hello, I am Nadia, a 29 year old creative business developer, consultant, blogger and wife. My husband, Daniel and I live in Durban. He is 36 and works as a furniture designer. On November 27th this year it will be our three year wedding anniversary.

Q2: Which Disney character do you feel sums you up to a ‘T’?

I would have to say Jasmine from Aladdin. When I was little I was in love with Aladdin and wished that one day I would meet my ‘diamond in the rough’. 

Q3: How did you and your hubby meet?

How many hours do you have? 

My husband and I met while we lived in London. He was the IT guy allocated to our floor at Burberry. Our building was full of Italians, so when I met an Afrikaans man, I was quite amazed. Since then I have told many versions of our story including short versions, long versions and romanticized humorous versions, today’s version is just a truthful one from my heart and a story I have not shared on my blog.

Our story was not an easy or perfect one. After meeting randomly via an intern who introduced us, we became fast friends. We both loved London, but missed home. We often got lunch together, sipped hot chocolate at Starbucks and just chatted and got to know one another. I had moved to the UK with my long-term boyfriend who I loved a great deal, but aspects of our relationship just didn’t work. After a long holiday away from London and Daniel, I realized that I just didn’t feel ‘right’, I felt broken and couldn’t put my finger on the problem. Shortly after this mid-twenties reality check - Daniel left the UK to wait out his renewed visa back home in Cape Town. We said goodbye and it really added some perspective. After that I was filled with angst and tried to figure out why I felt so lost. I tried to feel better, to get over my confusion, but I just couldn’t. Something was missing, but it took me a really long time to figure out that my London life and relationship were not the right fit. I couldn’t give up a seven year relationship based on a year long friendship, I didn’t feel that was the solution. I decided that regardless of everything, I needed to go home to my family and find out what it was that I wanted from my life. To this day it is still the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. I bid London goodbye along with my boyfriend of seven years. I moved back in with my parents and took some time to figure it all out. I went through so many emotions both while deciding and once I got home. A while after that Daniel came to Durban to catch up with me. Our first kiss sealed the deal and we knew this was it! The wonderful thing is our relationship was built on a solid friendship and we got to have our fresh start and begin our happily ever after in the right way.

Q4: Was your wedding everything you hoped it would be? Would you go back and change anything? Do you have any advice for brides-to-be?

I loved our wedding, the day was almost stress free and elegantly simple. The only thing I would go back and change is the guest list. I would make it even smaller and more intimate.

Q5: Has ‘life after the dress’ been as you imagined it would be? 

It has been all sorts of different things, interesting, challenging, difficult, beautiful and blissful. The important lesson has been that we are in this journey together.

Q6: What have you learnt about yourself since being married?

I'm not sure if my lessons have been general life ones or due to being a wife. I do know that I have learnt to be really strong and cope with juggling a great deal of different things from wife to business owner and each has its own set of challenges. The main thing is I can handle it and it helps to have a supportive husband.

Q7: If you could describe your marriage in 3 words, what would they be?

Love, Patience, Respect

Q8: Do you have any pearls of wisdom you would like to share with my readers about being married? Perhaps something some wise person once told you, or something you’ve learnt the hard way?

I think you need to remember to always find time for each other. It need not be hours and hours each day, but rather take time to listen… properly without typing on your phone or thinking about later. Carve out quality time and plan for it. We get so busy with our work and life in general and it’s important to not treat your spouse as another to do list entry. Romance is also a must – again not all men are romantic, but keep on having date nights or weekends away. We have to sometimes escape and we might as well do it together. My final pearl of wisdom is do what is right for the two of you. I often hear people say that other people don’t have a ‘normal relationship’. That is annoying as we are all different and we need to allow that our relationship follows our rules not those of society. Daniel and I have things we enjoy together and things we do apart and it really works for us. I surely can’t expect the poor guy to be as excited about washi tape and crafting as I am, nor do I want to go to a paintball game :)

You can find Nadia at the following places:

Blog

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

In this series I am interviewing real woman and asking them questions about their lives after their wedding day. I am asking them real questions about their marriages, and of course having them give me and you some pearls of wisdom that they might like to share. If you would like to read more about this series, or if you would like to be featured here on the blog, click here or you can drop me an email here or leave me a comment below.

x

Life After the Dress...Irene Woodhams

Today I am introducing you all to the lovely Irene. Irene is my third guest here on the blog in my new blog series entitiled {Life After the Dress}. In this series I am interviewing real woman and asking them questions about their lives after their wedding day. I am asking them real questions about their marriages, and of course having them give me and you some pearls of wisdom that they might like to share. If you would like to read more about this series, or if you would like to be featured here on the blog, click here or you can drop me an email here or leave me a comment below.

Q1: Please introduce yourself (age, of both yourself and your husband, where do you live, what do you do & how long have you been married for?)
My name is Irene (Lulu to family and close friends) and my husband’s name is Moresby. I am 57 and Moresby is 61. I do a little freelance work as a Kitchen Designer and sell retro/vintage items. My blog is called ‘Lulu, Yesteryear Redeemed’. Moresby is a mathematics teacher. We have been married for 34 years (next month) and have two sons. We have lived in the same house for 32 years! To some this might be boring but to us, our home is full of memories!

Q2: Which Disney character do you feel sums you up to a ‘T’?
Oh dear, I have not thought about Disney characters for a very long time! I would say I am a little like Snow White who has a cheerful, trusting nature and motherly character.

Q3: How did you and your hubby meet?
A group of people from our church would meet in the Addington Hospital Chapel before going off to visit patients who did not receive visitors. I remember the day Moresby walked into the small chapel and I thought, wow, what a nice looking guy! He had his hands in his pockets and a friendly smile on his face. 7
months later we were married! Many family and friends thought that we were rushing but we knew that the Lord would be the foundation of our marriage. I was 23 and Moresby was 27.

Q4: Was your wedding everything you hoped it would be? Would you go back and change anything? Do you have any advice for brides-to-be?
Our wedding was wonderful. We got married on 21 December 1979. I don’t just mean the pretty things on the table or the flowers. Even after all these years, I have memories of holding my dad’s arm and how emotional he was as he walked me down the isle. The excitement and smile on Moresby’s face that I was about to become his wife. The pastor’s message. How we held hands as we said our vows to each other and to the Lord. And lastly as we turned to leave the church and saw everyone sharing in our joy!

My advice to brides-to-be is to enjoy every moment of your wedding day because it all goes by so quickly! Ask family and friends to take lots of photos – often they capture special moments which the photographer doesn’t.

Q5: Has ‘life after the dress’ been as you imagined it would be?
To be honest, all I hoped for was our marriage to be a happy one. But we both realized that to be happy we would always have to consider each other. We decided that we would never make a decision no matter how small without consulting the other. We still do it to this day. As the years passed we bought a home, had children, lived on a tight budget so that I could be at home with the boys and then we went through the teenage years! All those experiences brought happiness and challenges to our marriage. Sometimes we reacted differently and had to find a way to work through the situations together. Or at times one was stronger than the other and visa versa. The greatest joy was having children. I could not imagine my life without them.

Now that 34 years has passed we don’t sweat about the small things like we used to, we now joke and laugh at each other – most times! We have come full circle – the boys have left home (sometime ago!) and we are on our own once again and
loving it!!

Q6: What have you learnt about yourself since being married?
I am still the same person with the same values and beliefs. Maturity and life experiences over the years has taught me to be a little calmer and to wait on the Lord for change. What makes it sweeter is that Moresby has been my anchor when I have been emotional (blame it on my Greek heritage!) and I felt like a little boat bopping up and down on the sea of life.

I still have my wedding dress so I pulled it out and ironed it to photograph it for all to see. It is still in good condition, as if it was made yesterday except I that I can no longer fit into it!

Q7: If you could describe your marriage in 3 words, what would they be?
happy, content, safe.

Q8: Do you have any pearls of wisdom you would like to share with my readers about being married? Perhaps something some wise person once told you, or something you've learnt the hard way?
Oh yes! Chat about everything BEFORE you get married e.g. each others role in the marriage, finances etc. Ask advice and guidance from older couples who set a good example. Good marriages don’t just happen, it takes communication and hard work . Always appreciate your spouse’s good qualities. If you only focus on each others faults and weaknesses you will become discontented. I know it can be hard at times! Remember, love is not a feeling: it is an unconditional commitment. Trust and forgive because there will be many times when you will need forgiveness! And lastly, try your best to respect and talk kindly to each other. I admit it is not always easy but you will reap the rewards if you do.

To my husband: Thank you for being honest and kind. A man who loves the Lord and a good example to our sons. On a lighter note: thank-you for helping me make our bed every day for the last 34 years!
Ephesians: 5:33 "However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband"

You can find Irene at the following places:
Blog LuLu-Yesteryear Redeemed
Facebook: Lulu Shop

If you enjoyed this post, I'd love to hear from you in the comments below! If you would like to be featured here in this series, please do drop me a message here, I'd love to hear from you.
x

Life After the Dress...Chelsea Diamond

I am so excited to introuduce you all to the second lovely lady in my new series {Life After the Dress}. I started this series last month with Natalie Hutton (click here to read her story), and in it I will be interviewing ladies of all ages and asking them about their lives, after their big day. It is my hope that you feel inspired, and leave my blog feeling hopeful and happy, with renewed energy for your relationship, or excitement for what the future may hold for you.

For a lot of woman, it is too easy to get caught up in the fluff and glitter of the actual wedding day, and very little time and thought is spent on preparing for what comes after. Marriage is such a wonderful journey, and once the cake has been cut and the guest have left, it's just you and your new husband, and the rest of your lives.

I hope you enjoy reading Chelsea's story, I so looking forward to meeting this bundle of energy (her travel blog is just such a rich source of information, and she has wonderful advice for traveling with your hubby, and tips on keeping in your budget too!). You can pop on over to her blog here.

Enjoy!

x

Q1: Please introduce yourself (age, of both yourself and your husband, where do you live, what do you do & how long have you been married for?)

Hi everyone! I’m Chelsea and I blog over at Lost in Travels. A blog to spark your wanderlust, encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and explore, all while staying on budget! My husband and I were married three years ago when I was 22 and he was 27 (I’ll let you do the math ; ) Scared by the thought of ‘settling down’ after we got married, we packed our lives into two suitcases and headed half way around the world to South Korea to teach English. We’ve been here almost three years now and haven’t looked back!

Q2: Which Disney character do you feel sums you up to a ‘T’?

I had to think about this one since it’s been awhile since I’ve seen the movies! I would have to say Ariel based on her sense of adventure and curiosity of the unknown!

Q3: How did you and your hubby meet?

My husband and I have a little bit of a different story. Long story short, I saw him through friends in common on Facebook and added him on a whim. After two months of talking, he got up the nerve to fly to Chicago from Tulsa where he was living and visit me for the first time. So the first time we actually met was in the domestic terminal of the O’hare airport! If you want more of the ooey gooey details you can read the whole story here.

Q4: Was your wedding everything you hoped it would be? Would you go back and change anything? Do you have any advice for brides-to-be?

I wish I could say that my wedding day went smooth but as with any big event, there are always bumps in the road. But with all that being said, nothing horrible happened and I still remember the day for the most important part, saying goodbye to dating and hello to life living with a boy!

My biggest advice to brides is to not sweat the small stuff. At the end of the day, it won’t matter anyway. I remember my mom rushing into the bridal suite hours before the wedding, stressed that the rental company had delivered one less tablecloth than we needed. Expecting me to be equally stressed by this I simply told her that we would have one less table then. I had gotten to the point that I didn’t care about the small details anymore, what did that matter when all I really wanted was to have fun that night and get to the honeymoon!

Q5: Has ‘life after the dress’ been as you imagined it would be?

Yes and no. Which I think every married woman can relate to. I was never one of those people with rose colored glasses on who thought that marriage was going to be love notes and snuggles in bed every day (even though I wish!) Marriage is challenging in new ways everyday. It stretches a person, makes them realize how much work a successful relationship really takes. Sacrifices must be made, feelings must be cared for and communication is key. I say all this but at the same time, it’s the most rewarding experience I’ve ever had. When we look back at our relationship when we were first married, we thought is was so great. But we had no idea how much better it would get with time. But it takes all of that hard work and all of those trials to go through to get us to where we are today. Especially living abroad together we have learned to heavily rely on each other, to be each other’s biggest support system. Something I think would be possible if we never left the states but not in the magnitude that it is now.

Q6: What have you learnt about yourself since being married?

I need to RELAX! I’ll be honest, I married a daredevil. The more dangerous the activity, the more my husband wants to do it. When we were first married I was so uptight! Always telling him to be careful, telling him not to do certain things because they were dangerous. After a year of this I learned that he’s a big boy and he loves me and therefore would never do anything that he knew was beyond his limits (duh). Too bad I didn’t learn that sooner!

Q7: If you could describe your marriage in 3 words, what would they be?

Adventurous, spontaneous, comfortable

Q8: Do you have any pearls of wisdom you would like to share with my readers about being married? Perhaps something some wise person once told you, or something you’ve learnt the hard way?

Always be in pursuit of your love. After being married, it can become all too easy to get too comfortable in marriage and as a result stop trying. I encourage everyone to continue to date his or her spouse throughout your marriage.

You can find Chelsea at the following places:

*Blog: lostintravelsblog.com

*Twitter: https://twitter.com/lost_in_travels

*Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LostInTravels

I hope you enjoyed reading the second post in my new blog series, if you did, leave me a note in the comments. I love hearing from you! x

If you would like be featured here on my blog, drop me an email (citygirlsearching-at-gmail-dot-com).

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!

x

Life After the Dress...Natalie Hutton

I am very excited to introduce you to the first lovely lady in my new blog series entitled "Life After the Dress". In this series I am going to be interviewing lots of different women from all walks of life, and asking them about their lives after all the fluff and excitement of their big day. I hope that their stories and words of wisdom will inspire you, and that you enjoy following along in this series as much as I have loved putting it together. 

I also hope that those of my readers who may not be in a relationship or who may not be anywhere near ready for marriage, may feel inspired by these wonderful and very different stories. There is no cookie cutter for the perfect relationship. Life is about learning and growing, and trying to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. If you are able to be that person with someone else, how wonderful. But that is not always the case. Be happy and content with where you are right now, you never know what {or who} may be waiting around the corner.

I am very happy to now leave you in the hands of Natalie (who is actually my very own sister-in-law!). 

Welcome Nats! It's so special for me to have you here.

Enjoy!

x

Q1: Please introduce yourself (age, of both yourself and your husband, where do you live, what do you do & how long have you been married for?)
Hi there. My name is Natalie and I am married to a dashing Hutton called John. Our birthdays are 72 days apart (not sure why we know that!), making us both 29 years old at present and we are coming up to our fifth wedding anniversary in December! We live in our newly bought first home in a little village in the Midlands called Hilton, in South Africa. John is the best English teacher in the land, and I am currently loving children through remedial teaching at a local primary school. I'll be going back to university next year though to finish my studies towards becoming an Educational Psychologist.


Q2: Which Disney character do you feel sums you up to a ‘T’?
I think I would have to say Ariel from “The Little Mermaid.” Ariel is clumsy, I have no shortage of that! She is also a bit whimsical and shy, and she gets insecure about her decisions– but she is daring enough to hold fast to her dreams (especially when it comes to her prince).


Q3: How did you and your hubby meet?
I used to joke that I was going to university to find a husband....and I did haha! John and I were in the same church at Rhodes University and we were both involved in similar things – he was a youth leader, I was involved with the kids church; we went to the same camps; we had the same friends; we took the same subjects...there were lots of places that we saw each other but we didn't really know one another. He was known as Twitch back then – he was one of the popular gentlemen amongst our greater circle of friends at Rhodes University. All the girls loved him! I, on the other hand, was a super-nerd and hardly had a social life. My nickname was Fishalie (my maiden name is Sturgeon which is a type of fish; Natalie+fish=Fishalie). I was shy and worked a lot! I remember the first time I hung out with Twitch in 2006. A group of us were in his res room and we sat chatting and cracking pecan nuts from his farm for hours. He was a third year then and I was a second year. He had long hair and really wasn't my type. Then Twitch started doing sweet things for me: he'd leave cryptic notes on my windscreen wipers; walk me home across campus with an umbrella on rainy evenings; wash my dusty car; plan his route home via my res in the hope that he'd 'bump' into me...And then for the 6 days leading up to my birthday in 2007, he left me a birthday present every single day – either on my car or on my res doorstep – and this just blew me away. He was so romantic about this friendship pursuit! However, I was terribly cautious and 'ran' in the opposite direction until one night. John arrived at my res one , unannounced. I was studying (surprise surprise!) We still hardly knew each other then but he asked if he could have some Rooibos with me. To this day he mocks me that I had no sugar or milk for him and assumed he drank it black and bland like I did. I brought it out to him and to my surprise, I walked with him to the garden outside my res where we sat for hours chatting, watching the moon and looking at the stars. If you'd known me back then, you'd know how uncharacteristic this was. It was all terribly romantic and I have been lost in him ever since....It was only months later that I visited him on his farm in Creighton and he took me for a walk which lead to a picnic laid out for us amongst hay bales, where he read me a hand-written poem and asked me to be his girlfriend!


Q4: Was your wedding everything you hoped it would be? Would you go back and change anything? Do you have any advice for brides-to-be?
Our wedding day was a beautiful start to our marriage. At about midnight the night before our wedding, there was a humongous electric storm. It made me panic a bit, but I also believe that God knows every inch of our souls, and it almost felt like a gift because we both adore thunder storms. The weather played nicely for the actual day and it was cloudy for our photographs which allowed for gorgeous photos by our now world famous photographers – Jon and Tina Reid (based in London). Also, a good friend composed our wedding march, and two others wrote and performed a song for us. We were surrounded by love and beauty on the day. It really was a wonderful way to begin our precious journey together!

If I could go back now, there are little details I would change, but it will always be like that because you grow up, fashions change, your relationships change and you get to know yourself better in time. All these things are unknowns on the days leading up to your wedding though. Your wedding reflects who you are on the day you say “I do,”and that is what is important.

For all you beautiful brides-to-be:

Do pre-marriage counseling and ask those hard questions so that you are on the same page on the day you walk down that aisle to your prince!

Get someone to video your wedding. After 5 years, I find myself watching our video more and more - it is perhaps my biggest wedding treasure (and it is such a tear jerker!).

Enjoy your engagement season – it only happens once. Your wedding isn't the event, your marriage is. So build that friendship and enjoy that wedding day!

And finally, decide now not to worry about anything that goes wrong on your wedding day – your bridal party will take care of it!


Q5: Has ‘life after the dress’ been as you imagined it would be?
It has, by far, been the richest 5 years of my life. I feel like it has been unique for us in that we spent the first 3 years of our marriage in Japan which was completely removed from everything familiar and comfortable. So we became each other's comfort and companions and that was a treasured start to our
marriage. We have had the opportunity to travel to fun places like Thailand, Philippines and China, and at times it felt like we were having a three year honeymoon. Marriage has been much more fun than I expected.


Q6: What have you learnt about yourself since being married?
I am a control freak and I am a lot more sensitive than I thought. I am not always right. God made John to complete my life and this has restored some broken areas in my life. Marriage has been a personal journey for me in getting to know my true self and that has been so exciting and wonderful! I have also discovered the hidden geek in me; that house work isn't my favourite hobby; and that I love
TV series and desserts more than I ever knew I did (it is so nice to share with someone.)


Q7: If you could describe your marriage in 3 words, what would they be?
Speck. Tack. Cooler. (aka spectacular)
Real answer:
Friendship. Beautiful. Fire.


Q8: Do you have any pearls of wisdom you would like to share with my readers about being married? Perhaps something some wise person once told you, or something you’ve learnt the hard way?
I am humbled by marriage and it is a beautiful, challenging and constant refiner. I'll never forget these pearls from our pre-marriage counseling: Put God first because a cord of 3 strands is not easily broken; and just be the first one to say sorry.

I hope you enjoyed reading the first post in my new blog series. If you would like be featured here on my blog, drop me an email (citygirlsearching-at-gmail-dot-com). I look forward to hearing from you!

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!

x

{Life After The Dress}...interviews with brides after their big day

I haven't done many interviews here on the blog, but the few that I have done I have really enjoyed. Now, having been married for just over a year, I've been thinking about the weeks and months leading up to my wedding day. Did I imagine life would be like this? How much did I think being married would change our relationship? Has it been easy? Would all our issues disappear the moment we seal our futures with a kiss?

These were all questions I know I was asking myself before the big day, and so I thought it might be nice (and useful to those ladies out there who are about to get married) that I interview some women who are married and get their perspectives on married life. Being married has been one of the most wonderful adventures I have ever been on. There have been ups and downs, naturally, but it has been a fun-filled roller coaster of self discovery and joy.

I am wanting to interview a whole range of married woman here on my blog; young, old and newlyweds.

If you would like to feature here, I'd love to hear from you. Please do drop me a line here (or use the contact page above).

I look forward to hearing from you!

I hope you enjoy this new series, and if you have any questions, queries or ideas for what to include, I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.

I will be introducing you to the first lovely lady next week!

x